The Mustard House

Meet My New Co-Author…

// June 13th, 2010 // Mia & Ella

Hello peeps!  It’s been approximately one trillion days since my last post.  Excuses are like belly buttons, everybody has one, but my belly button of an excuse is legit: I’ve been training a new co-author!  Ha – you all thought I was going to say it was because we welcomed my baby sis into the house.  While true, that’s not the reason for the delay.  Contrary to popular belief, babies, while ridiculously cute, don’t come with built-in blogging skills.  Two months into the game I’ve got Ella ftp’ing files, editing graphics in Photoshop, downloading plug-ins and typing 1.4 words per minute (cut her some slack, she has tiny fingers).  Finding time to train her hasn’t been easy.  In the past, my commitment to the website was aided by the convenience of being able to soil myself while writing through the wetness.  Now I have to run my little butt up the stairs and plant it on my Tinky potty every time I take a drink of root beer.  So before  you get on my case about the delay in posts, you tell me, what’s more important: awesome new stories about me, or a dry, clean bottom?  The answer is debatable.

But enough about me.  Somewhere buried in that paragraph of potty training poetry was the announcement of my new co-author, so this is where I hand over the keyboard and allow the student to become the teacher.  Without further delay, here’s my partner in playtime – Ella (she slobbers on the keyboard – you’ve been warned…we’re working on that).

Greetings Earthlings.  I come from the planet Belly.  My name is Ella Kate Stevenson and I was born on April 15, 2010.  Apparently, some also refer to that day as Tax Day, but until I figure out what a tax is, I’ll stick with calling it my birthday.  Many of you already know my big sis, Mia.  She’s taught me the ways of the blog, and for that, I thank her (usually by spitting up on her or screaming in her ear, but I’m only two months old, so not a lot of options for showing gratitude at this point in the game).  Many of you have already met me and know that I was born the size of a 6 pound, nine ounce peanut.  I lost another pound after coming home from the hospital, but now thanks to the fine people at Good Start, I’m chubbin’ up and getting some folds in all the right, socially acceptable places.  Apparently, I look a lot like Mia did when she was my age, only a bit more like mom than dad.  If you ask me, genetics are pretty weird – so please do ask sometime, I’ll tell you that they’re weird all over again.

I suppose you all want the rundown of the last two months.  If you ask me, life’s pretty simple.  I’ve figured out that if I yell really loud every two or three hours, someone will usually jab a bottle in my mouth within a minute or two (Note to other babies: you can cut the reaction time down to sub-30 seconds by increasing your decibel level a notch or twelve).  When I’m not eating, I like to get my sleep on.  I recommend a solid 18-20 hours per day.  If you’re getting anything less, you’re just not trying hard enough.  When I’m not eating or sleeping, I’m usually pooping or peeing.  I prefer Pampers, size 1, for their incredible absorbency and flattering Sesame Street style.

If you can do math, you can probably figure out that by typing 1.4 words per minute, it’s taken me quite a long time to write this much and if I’m gonna get my 18-20 hours of beauty rest, I gotta leave now and go get my nap on.  Rest assured, we have lots of other entertaining photos and videos for your viewing pleasure.  For that, I give you back to Mia and bid you as well as my dipes, adoo-doo.

Hello people.  So hopefully you were able to get past the literal dribble and make some sense out of baby Ella’s update.  As much as I know how you love to read our stories, I also know that nobody really hops on the Web to read.  The Internet was built for one thing and one thing alone: movies of cats playing pianos.  Well, I don’t have one of those but I do have a new movie of me singing karaoke in my bedroom:

I rock, I know. I also know how to end a performance like a diva and keep the people wanting more. Same goes for blogs, so I’m gonna get back to watching Toy Story but not before filling in for my baby sis by posting her debut video for her. It’s a collection of cute from her first two months. Click, enjoy and we promise, we won’t take so long to bring you the goods next time. I’m insisting mom reads Ella “Blogging for Dummies” for her bedtime story.  We also take bribes.  Cookies are good.  So are trips to Disneyland.  Take the hint, mom and dad.

- M & E